Gilbert Beilschmidt

[There's loud shuffling as the Pokegear turns on to reveal...nothing. It's pitch black, so when Prussia stumbles over what is presumably a bunch of rocks, pained cursing can be heard.]

WHERE THE FUCK AM--

ONIX! Geodude!



[Of course, that's when he finally manages to find a flash light, to reveal several angry Onix and Geodudes staring at him accusingly. It seems they don't take kindly to being trampled all over. At least it explains why the ground was moving. Guess it wasn't an earthquake. Prussia doesn't bother responding, he just turns and bolts as they start chasing him.]

[There is an angry red eye in the screen, before it backs up to reveal an irritated albino.]

JAPAN!

[No way his hallucination could last this long, and he’ll be damned if he’ll let Japan get away with it.]

This is your fault!

[He jabs his finger at the screen.]

I know everyone wants me and my greatness, but kidnapping is illegal under international law! I demand compensation, and you better return me now or-

[There is suddenly a blur of colors, accompanied by a stream of loud German and English curses as Prussia trips over a row of bushes. Someone wasn’t watching where he was going while angrily yelling at the PokéGear.]

Uh – ahaha…ha…FUCK.

[There’s a thud and a view of the sky as Prussia drops his PokéGear and backpack in favor of running from a flock of extremely angry Spearow, hell bent on punishing him for ruining their nests.]